Author: Amy Butcher

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Been there. Done that.

Sometimes it can be hard to crawl out of the cave after a long winter’s hibernation.
Not only because I am stiff and undernourished, having worked through all my fat stores over the winter (oh, if only that were true…read this interesting article on the metabolic winter we may be missing!).
But also, because I’m a bit jaded. I think I know what I’ll find once I step back out into the sun.
Been there. Done that.
Obviously, I am wrong, but how can I remind myself of that. How can I have a tangible scientific proof!
Well, self, here are just a few recent examples of when thought we knew everything, but didn’t:

  • A new organ human organ—the interstitium—is discovered in the body. A fluid filled mesh throughout the body may be the key to communication.
  • Beautiful trove of phantom quartz crystals laying in plain site, that is if you happen to be a tree planter wandering through the British Columbia forest.
  • The quest to understand female ejaculate continues, with recent findings showing a mix of urine and PSA (prostatic-specific antigen).
  • The movements of the oceans are creating a 2nd magnetic force here on earth

So, self, get off your butt and crawl your way out into a world full of surprises.
Spring has sprung!
— Amy

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Podcast

Pleasure First: Jaiya on Systems of Arousal, Erotic Breakthroughs, and Inarguable Truths

Jaiya is a somatic sexology expert, working with people in various forms for over twenty years. She has created a unique system for one’s “erotic blueprint,” which can help explain different needs, wants, and communications personally and interpersonally. She joins Zed for a conversation about her work and inspirations, and shares her most recommended resources.
Thanks to Jaiya for being our guest! Find out even more about her and her work at ~jaiya.love~
Here are some of the resources that Jaiya mentioned:
Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute; Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine; Body Mapping on Embody Pleasure; Rapid Transformational Therapy; The Relationship Skills Workbook by Julia B. Colwell
Take the quiz to learn more about your personal Erotic Blueprint, Jaiya’s unique breakdown of systems of arousal at eroticblueprint.com
Music: Grateful to Little Dog Big Ears for their Creative Commons licensed music She Sees Mice (intro and outro). Make sure to subscribe in iTunes or Sticher. And give us a 5-star review in iTunes, it helps us reach more beloved explorers.

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Newsletter

Embracing the inconvenient

Sometimes the struggle is the whole point
The other day, I swiped across the off-white surface of the book I was reading. Nothing happened. I tapped harder on a single word, hoping the definition might pop up and save me from having to reach up onto the shelf and pull down the dictionary for an analog search. Sometimes, I love convenience.
But other times, convenience reduces friction and makes life feel too slippery.
Sometimes, it is only inconvenience that gives us a chance to connect to one another, to break out of our insulated bubbles of our Spotify channels, our podcast stream, to speak to the person next to us, say when the internet goes down or our phone battery dies.
But it wasn’t until I read Tim Wu’s wonderful essay entitled “The Tyranny of Convenience” that I got it what was irking me about convenience:
“Today’s cult of convenience fails to acknowledge that difficulty is a constitutive feature of human experience. Convenience is all destination and no journey. But climbing a mountain is different from taking the tram to the top, even if you end up at the same place. We are becoming people who care mainly or only about outcomes. We are at risk of making most of our life experiences a series of trolley rides.”
Does this resonate for you?
Inconveniently yours,
Amy

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Newsletter

Conscious connection….consent

During this stormy winter month, I have been pondering aliveness and eros. Not a new theme for me, yet in the uncomfortable place of change or upheaval, I move towards cultivation of aliveness.
When aliveness involves connection with others, a central aspect of conscious connection is consent. Today I have two great resources on consent that I want to share.
I am thrilled to pass on the announcement that Betty Martin’s work with consent is expanded into a School of Consent. A team of trainers is now available to teach and offer—to individuals, groups, professionals, and businesses—the ‘Wheel of Consent’ and a consent curriculum. The website has gifts, downloads, and introductory teachings about consent.
A more local resource I know of is the Consent Academy, started in 2016. This website is packed full of interesting articles and insights on building a consent culture. I appreciated the variety of voices available.
Enjoy…
Alex

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Podcast

The Hunt for Buried Pleasure: Genital Anatomy, Birth, Sex, and more with Sheri Winston

Pleasure Lab podcast, Season 2, Episode #10: Listen as Zed interviews Sheri Winston.
Check out more of Sheri Winston’s work at Intimate Arts Center, and pick up one of her books at your local independent bookstore (or, if you must, on Amazon: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure & Succulent Sex Craft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice). Keep track of Sheri on Twitter and Facebook, too.
Music: Grateful to Little Dog Big Ears for their Creative Commons licensed music She Sees Mice (intro and outro). Make sure to subscribe in iTunes or Sticher. And give us a 5-star review in iTunes, it helps us reach more beloved explorers.

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Newsletter

Can you sense the pace of change?

Things are quickening, beginning the process of change and growth, starting to stir. We take collective note through Groundhog Day and Imbolc but, sometimes, it’s really hard to sense the ‘readying’. Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate the slowly evolving drama.
So take a look at the NOVA video and see all the many ways—pretty and grotesque—that plants unfold. As I watched, I could feel that very same process in my body.
Where are you moving out? Is that process of change perhaps a little less pretty than you thought it might be? I know it is for me, but that’s OK.
Watch and feel.

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Newsletter

Are your nose hairs freezing?

Now, I realize the irony of saying that from the warm, dry, safety of California. My nostalgia for all things snowy and icy may indeed be a romanticized version of the past. Have I forgotten the freezing of nose hairs? The scraping of windshields with a credit card? The disconcerting ways a car can pirouette when it finds itself on black ice?
But the truth is that every time I return to a winter climate I find myself relaxing in a way that a sunny beach never evokes.
The bundling of layers (long underwear, turtle neck, sweater, jacket, hat . . .) makes me feels like a warrior. The starkness of tree branches denuded of leaves, making their essential skeletal forms stand in stark relief, greet me like queer dance party of diversity (who knew there were so many different shapes, sizes, and branch configurations that could still describe “a tree”). Even the acoustics of sub-freezing temperatures brightens my ears, perking them to the crunch of frozen snow underfoot, the crack of ice stretching in it’s pond, the clear echo of chickadees flitting branch to branch. Winter is a synesthesist’s delight with sense stretched and altered and blended in surprising ways.
In winter’s barren landscape, I feel held and met.
Things are clean.
Essential.
Crystalline.
Which brings clarity . . . or atleast quiet . . . and hope to know what’s next.
How goes your wintertime? Anything crystalizing?
— Amy

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Podcast

Scholarship, balance, and the oddballs of sex: Roz Dischiavo in conversation with Zed, Season 2, episode 9

Thank you, Roz Dischiavo! Check out her work at the Institute of Sexuality and Enlightenment.
Roz also mentioned TASHRA, The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance, and her research on fantasies is available directly from her, via info@instituteforsexuality.com
Music: Grateful to Little Dog Big Ears for their Creative Commons licensed music She Sees Mice (intro and outro). Make sure to subscribe in iTunes or Sticher. And give us a 5-star review in iTunes, it helps us reach more beloved explorers.

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Podcast

The winter solstice brings Body Trust’s December pause, Pleasure Lab Podcast Season 2 Episode 8

Zed and Amy take note of December’s Winter Solstice and describe why Body Trust is taking the month off. Our shortest podcast ever (00:02:12)!
See you in January. 🙂
Music: Grateful to Little Dog Big Ears for their Creative Commons licensed music She Sees Mice (intro and outro). Make sure to subscribe in iTunes or Sticher. And give us a 5-star review in iTunes, it helps us reach more beloved explorers.

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Newsletter

What defines your limits?

Sometimes I need to find some relief from the onslaught of news
Part of resilience and self-care is knowing when I’ve had enough, when my system needs some “down regulation” as Lizz likes to say, and when it is necessary to intentionally search for something positive. When those moments come I sometimes turn to Positive.News.
That’s where I found this article about folks defying the limits of age. Whether the dancer who began his career at 79 or the man who began primary school at age 84, I am inspired by them. It’s not so much because they are defying society’s stereotypes but because they are defying any internalized ones. They’ve had the courage to lay claim to their desires, even if they seem crazy, and go after them, knowing they are unlikely to become ‘superstars.’ They have been willing to find the outer limits of their aliveness, even as that edge of potential shrinks with age. They have found resilience in the push/pull between possibility and death.
What are you longing for? What’s the thing you’ve always meant to do? Now’s the time!
— Amy
source: Helen Cathcart/Bolder