Category: Newsletter

In times of quivering activity, bursting creations, or churning chaos, it is a good idea to have a ‘Sit Upon’.
Years of guiding pelvic floor relaxation and anal breathing led to a collaborative installation at the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival called Better Living through The Root. Part of the installation was small rubber balls nestled atop benches with instructions for how to use them while anal breathing. The most surprising discovery for me was the deep relaxation and connection to my body that arose from sitting on these physical therapy balls. They offered awareness to my pelvic muscles and anus, allowing for full body relaxation and openness.
So now I have been exploring what other items and locations I can ‘sit upon’ to create pelvic awareness. Small curved rocks into which my sits bones can nestle allow for direct connection to my root and the earth. Straddle a log, sit on a small cushion, or discover a mound in the grass.
Nestle your pelvis, breathe, and tell me where you are.
 

I listened to a 10-minute meditation this morning, through the Insight Timer app (which is still my favorite app for meditation), and a lot of the pieces of it have stuck with me during my day today.
For example:

• I cultivate patience, and by doing so, I also cultivate self-confidence
• I welcome the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, and I do not let myself be guided by fear
• I love myself unconditionally, because it is essential to my happiness.
• I love the person that I am, and I do not need other people’s approval to love myself fully
• I’m going to drink water, eat fruit and vegetables, walk, take the stairs, exercise. Today, I give love to my body

It made me think about some of my own little affirmations and mantras, like:

• Decide to decide once
• Being healthy is ongoing and lifelong

The meditation stated specifically that the purpose was to cultivate magic in my day … but my own mantras aren’t really with that purpose.
Similarly, someone told me this weekend that his intention was to maximize bliss and joy in every moment. Things like these are a little confusing to me, as someone who has struggled with depression and mood dysregulation for as long as I can remember, but I feel curious. And as I’m pondering blossoming, our May Body Trust theme, cultivating that magic, bliss, and joy is what comes to mind.

Like this quote, one of my favorites:

“Very few people ever manage
what nature manages without effort
and mostly without fail. We don’t know
who we are or how to function,
much less how to bloom.”
— Jeanette Winterson

So that’s what I’m pondering — How do I bloom? How do I blossom? — while the blossoming season is upon us.

Image & inspiration from Brene Brown’s talk on empathy.
The theme for May is “blossoming”.
Exciting, upward, explosive energy of those germinating sprouts and all their potency finally breaking the surface and busting into the sunlight.
But sometimes those sprouts needed a little support, a little empathy, before they pushed themselves up and out. Just picture those shoots who, so intent on their destiny, have lifted cracked pavement off their backs to find the sun. Don’t you imagine they might have had a moment of self-doubt underground, a moment when a passing worm paused and wordlessly bore witness to their struggle. Can’t you feel how that little earthy empathy might have given them the courage they needed to keep growing?
I can.
Sweet springtime to you,
— Amy
PS: Don’t forget about Portals of Pleasure! Registration is now open. It happens July 19-23, 2017 near Albuquerque, New Mexico, and women and non-binary folks with some experience in erotic embodiment circles are invited.

Yesterday’s conscious engagement with the earth was Tantric.
A demonstration and re-enactment of the inner marriage on the physical plane was consciously held. Menstrual blood was used to anoint a piece of heavy equipment, intended to capture and slow down the movements of nutrients on my dear friends land. As the Backhoe (AKA excavator) strokes and penetrates HER with consciousness, we bring the earth into harmony and balance.
This was a magical experience and expression of the inner marriage on both a microcosmic and macrocosmic plane. And I’m grateful.
Happy spring,
Lizz

Pleasure has power. To understand this concept, think broadly about pleasure. Moments of pleasure—like a pausing for a cup of tea or holding a purring cat—can offer enjoyment and comfort. Sensate pleasures can sooth anxiety, discharge energy, and shift emotional states. Pleasure can offer a pathway to greater resilience.
During periods of overwhelm, fear, grief, or anxiety, pleasure can feel far away and inaccessible. The conscious application of pleasure can balance and ground and open us to a deeper sense support. During challenging times: use pleasure practices.
Begin by making a list of pleasure activities that nourish or are creative. If you can’t figure out what is pleasurable, have someone else suggest three different pleasure activities. Pick one of them then do the activity. If that feels impossible, get help from someone, engage your sensory body, and practice.
This spring, I spend time each day with my hands in the garden soil—even if it is only for ten minutes—connecting, creating, watching the worms and bees move. This pleasure washes the numbness out of my body, and makes my fingers dirty.
— Alex
PS: Don’t forget about Portals of Pleasure! Registration is now open. It happens July 19-23, 2017 near Albuquerque, New Mexico, and women and non-binary folks with some experience in erotic embodiment circles are invited.

“I look at men and women my age and older, and their scalps and knuckles and spots and bulges, though various and interesting, don’t affect what I think of them. Some of these people I consider to be very beautiful, and others I don’t. For old people, beauty doesn’t come free with the hormones, the way it does for the young. It has to do with bones. It has to do with who the person is. More and more clearly it has to do with what shines through those gnarly faces and bodies.
What worries me most when I look in the mirror … is not that I’ve lost my beauty. It’s that that woman doesn’t look like me. She isn’t who I thought I was.”
— Ursula K. Le Guin on Aging and What Beauty Really Means

“I know I got a dirty mind
it’s in the gutter all the time
I don’t believe that it’s a crime
I consider it a service
this ain’t 1954
it ain’t a man’s world anymore
so whatcha wanna tame me for
do I make you nervous?”
— Carsie Blanton, Vim and Vigor

“All the fun things about Easter are pagan. Bunnies are a leftover from the pagan festival of Eostre, a great northern goddess whose symbol was a rabbit or hare. Exchange of eggs is an ancient custom, celebrated by many cultures. ” — The Pagan Roots of Easter
Whatever you celebrate, this is a potent time of year, full of rebirth, connection, energy, and growth. I wish you lots of badass music, inspirational readings, and beautiful symbols of abundance and erotics.
— Zed
PS: Don’t forget about Portals of Pleasure! We are working on opening up registration and will have that information to you very soon. It happens July 19-23, 2017 near Albuquerque, New Mexico, and women and non-binary folks with some experience in erotic embodiment circles are invited.

Boundary Waters

I am thinking about transitions, pacing, and limits of the imagination.
Recently, I completed my first triathlon. Our swim coach had told us to “touch your hand to the bottom three times before you stand up” at the end of the swim. Simple, right? But coming ashore, that bottom is oh so tempting. It’s hard to wait. The sand looks inches away even while the water is waist deep. But I wait and claw my way to shore, practically belly-flopping on the sand before standing up, ankle-deep in the water. The transition is made easy by that patience.
Swimming itself requires some imagination. We are land-based creatures so to allow ourselves to submerge into the fluid environment asks of us a certain trust. That we can float. That we can find a way to get nose (or mouth) to air. That we can be held by this thick environment so contrary to our conscious mind’s beliefs. The more we struggle, the more we sink. The challenge is to relax into the unfamiliar.
I’ve had some bad experiences in the water where my body panicked and revolted against the environment. This triathlon was a renegotiation of sorts between me and the water and my fears. I like where we’ve gotten with each other.
Now the question is—with these experiences still fresh in my body’s psyche—how can I apply this learning to other changes in my life? How can I be patient in transitions? How can I relax into the unfamiliar? How can I allow that which wants to emerge to soak into my imagination and come into form? How can I find my sustainable pace?
Happy springtime!
xo,
Amy

My tantra teacher, Rudy Ballentine, always suggested trying a detox when I didn’t feel well. And, I must admit, I was always resistant to this idea. I didn’t want too because it triggered feelings of being deprived and controlled around food, from my childhood.
Alas, I started doing detoxes about 10 years ago and whenever, AND I REALLY DO MEAN WHENEVER I did one I always felt better!!! But, big sigh, I am still resistant to doing them. Every spring I try to talk myself out of doing a detox. Ideally we would detox twice a year….once in the fall and once in the spring, every 6 months.
And guess what! Spring is kind of here. And I’m saying out loud, to you all, that I am going to do a detox in April or early May. Ok? And I will support anyone else who wants to do one, seriously.

Now, why would you do a cleanse/detox?
Because you are experiencing:
-inability to concentrate/brain fog
-fatigue and lack of energy
-digestive complaints
-muscle weakness
A grounds keeper at the Himalayan Institute said, “Machinery doesn’t break down because it’s old. It breaks down because of dirt that collects inside. That’s what wears out the moving parts and ruins it. If you keep it clean, it will last almost forever.”
This is a quote from the detox chapter in Rudy’s book, Radical Healing. I highly recommend reading this, it’s wonderful and explains detoxification in a thorough way. Once you understand what needs cleansing you can choose the right type of detox for you.
Here’s to a lighter us!
Lizz

Exploring the rhythm within your body directs your focus inward and offers an opportunity to experience your unique pulse and movement. Awareness of your rhythms will bring increased capacity and potency.
The most bold and loud rhythm in your body is your breath. Notice the rhythm of the inhalation and exhalation. Change your breath pattern, and investigate what happens. As your lungs fill with air, your diaphragm moves. Diaphragm movement will elicit other movements throughout your body.
The beat of your heart is a softer rhythm. Can you feel this beat in your chest, through your fingers touching your wrist, or in your belly? When does you heart rhythm increase, how does it slow down?
The subtlest rhythm is, as John Upledger describes it, “the subtle pulsation of the craniosacral system as cerebrospinal fluid circulates through it in a dynamic loop.” You can feel this by touch with your hands or through proprioception in your joints. To explore your craniosacral rhythm, place your hands gently around your ears, using soft contact, and feel with your hands. Notice the expansion and releasing.
Rhythm can be a road map to pleasure, openness, and ease.
xo,
Alex

Spring makes me think of change. I love this season — the bursting forth of that which was hidden, but growing and moving under the surface this whole time. The lush greens that come back. The dripping rain off the trees.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about transformation. I’ve been experiencing more panic and anxiety than I ever remember feeling. Maybe it’s the political climate, maybe it’s my personal body chemistry, maybe it’s all the changes — who knows. But it all has me asking, how do I cultivate more transformation in my life, in my body? How do I change an energetic or emotional state that I’m in, while still honoring that state, not pushing it away?
I’ve got a small list of things I’m keeping in my notebook, and going to it when I feel myself in that frenzied state:

• Writing down everything I’m feeling in a fast-write, or in a letter to a particular person (that I won’t send)
• Calling or texting a friend and asking them to lend an ear, to listen to me
• Doing some alternative nostril breathing
• Doing some tapping
• Calling my therapist for a phone session
• Going through the steps of The Work, Byron Katie’s theory for a stronger and happier mind
• Distracting myself with a good book (currently it’s the romance novel How Not To Fall by Emily Foster which, I will absolutely admit, I am loving a lot) or with a good TV show (I’ve been watching through the seasons of Mad Men that I missed)
• Putting my face/head into a bowl of ice (okay, I haven’t actually tried this one, but my therapist suggested it, and guarantees it works to change one’s state of mind. I’m holding it for when I really need a jump-start!)
• Drinking detox tea, or doing other things to detoxify my body, like going to a sauna, scrubbing my skin, eating extra vegetables

I don’t usually do all of them, but sometimes I have to go down the list to three or four before I feel better. Do you have particular things you do when you notice your emotional state spiraling out?
Lots of love,
Zed